How I Learnt That Putting Myself First Wasn’t Selfish—It Was Essential

Introduction

If you’re anything like me, you probably find it easy to put yourself last. Whether it’s looking after family, running a business, or just keeping up with life, there’s always something (or someone) that comes first.

For years, I thought that making time for myself was selfish. I’d feel guilty if I took a moment to rest, and I’d push through exhaustion because I thought that’s what I had to do. But the truth is, when I finally started putting myself first—giving myself permission to rest, set boundaries, and take care of my body—I became a better businesswoman, a more patient mum, and a more present wife.

I realised that looking after myself wasn’t just good for me—it was good for everyone around me, too. And if you’re struggling with the idea of prioritising yourself, I want to share why it’s not selfish—it’s absolutely necessary.

Why Putting Yourself First Matters

Life can feel like a never-ending to-do list, but constantly putting others before yourself comes at a cost. Stress, exhaustion, and even hormonal imbalances can creep in when you’re not listening to what your body needs.

When I started making space for myself, I noticed:
✔ My stress levels dropped, and I felt calmer.
✔ My energy improved, and I could focus better.
✔ My hormones felt more balanced—I had fewer PMS symptoms, better sleep, and more predictable cycles.

By giving myself the care I needed, I didn’t just feel better—I was better in every aspect of my life.

How to Put Yourself First Without Feeling Selfish

It’s not about ignoring your responsibilities or neglecting others. It’s about making sure you’re looked after, too. Here’s how I started prioritising myself without the guilt:

1. Setting Boundaries (and Sticking to Them)

I used to say yes to everything—until I realised that constantly overloading myself wasn’t doing anyone any favours. Now, I set clear boundaries.

• If something drains my energy or doesn’t align with my priorities, I politely say no.
• I schedule non-negotiable “me time” in my diary, whether it’s 10 minutes of peace with a cup of tea or a relaxing bath in the evening.

2. Small Acts of Self-Care Make a Huge Difference

Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant. Sometimes, it’s the smallest shifts that make the biggest impact.

• I swapped out products filled with harsh chemicals for ones that actually support my health—whether it’s choosing toxin-free skincare or making the switch to reusable period pads.
• I started making time for small daily rituals—like stretching in the morning, taking deep breaths between tasks, or winding down with a book instead of scrolling on my phone.

3. Fuel Your Body With Love

I learnt that what I put into my body directly affects how I feel.

• I started planning my meals on Fridays, so I wasn’t stressing over “What are we eating tonight?” during the week.
• I focused on nutrient-rich foods that support my hormones—like leafy greens, nuts, seeds, and good sources of protein.
• I stopped overloading on caffeine in the afternoons (goodbye, 3pm crash!).

It wasn’t about dieting or restriction—it was about giving my body what it needed to function properly.

4. Rest Without Guilt

For years, I felt guilty about resting—until I realised that rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity.

• I created an evening wind-down routine: no screens an hour before bed, writing down my thoughts, and planning the next day.
• I committed to going to bed and waking up at the same time every day—yes, even on weekends (well, most weekends!). It made the biggest difference in my energy and mood.

5. Let Go of the Guilt

If you’re struggling to put yourself first because you feel guilty, remind yourself:

✔ Taking care of yourself makes you more patient, more present, and more resilient.
✔ You deserve to feel good—just like anyone else.
✔ You can’t pour from an empty cup.

How This Links to Your Hormones

I saw such a shift in my stress levels, energy, and cycle health when I started making these changes. When we don’t look after ourselves, our hormones take the hit—leading to irregular cycles, painful periods, mood swings, and fatigue.

By prioritising rest, reducing stress, and fuelling my body properly, I started feeling better in every way. And that’s exactly why choosing the right products, routines, and lifestyle habits makes such a difference.

Putting Yourself First Benefits Everyone

When I finally started looking after myself, I realised that everyone around me benefited, too.

• I was a happier, calmer mum.
• I was more present and focused in my business.
• I felt more like myself again.

It’s not about ignoring others—it’s about making sure you’re also on your own priority list.

Final Thoughts

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s the key to living a happier, healthier life. Start small, whether it’s setting a boundary, swapping to healthier, toxin-free period care, or simply taking a few minutes just for you.

You deserve it. 

Rupal x